You can't run, You're Fat!

The alternate title for this post is Kenyan Children are little Monsters.


At 5 pm this evening, I made my way over to the gate at Erwan and Marieke's (also Nelli and Matt's) compound to meet up with Erwan for our run.  As I walked the 200 feet over to their gate I noticed a bunch of Keyan kids (no older than 10 years old on average) congregating outside the gate.  As they saw me approach I could see the glimmer of excitement in their eyes that a Mzungu (white person) was headed their way and better yet she was dressed in exercise clothes (a totally foreign concept to the Luos of Kisumu).

As I got closer their craze escalated - it was like approaching a gang of munchkins.  Once I was close enough, the bold one (who was wearing a Miami Heat basketball jersey) started the following exchange:

The ring leader: "Are you a boxer?"*

Me: No, just a runner.

Ring Leader: You can't run - you're fat!

Me: What?

Ring Leader:  motioning with his arms out to indicate a big person You're FAT.  You can't run.

Me: Uh ok.  You are a bunch of hoodlums.

Ring Leader: Where are you from?

Me: now inside the gate Not from a place that is going to talk to you.

The small Kenyan Youth Gang: chuckles and giggles


*Sidenote: There are a select group of Kenyans in this area that do some exercise and it is mainly the boxers - they jump rope and run in sweat suits up the hills in Milimani

I proceeded down to Erwan and Marieke's place in some amount of shock and dismay at this exchange and at the gang activity that was brewing outside their compound.  I told them about the exchange and we considered the slew of possibilities at what he was trying to say to me.  I suppose that in comparison to Sammy Wanjiru I am fat - but that implies that this child has any clue what the elite Kenyan runners look like.  Eventually, we headed out for our run - expecting to run into the kids at the gate.

The security guard had apparently taken my tone during the aforementioned exchange to mean Get this bunch of knuckleheads away from here because when we ascended the hill from Erwan and Marieke's place the kids were gone (except for one - who had a Billy Club - I have no idea how or why!).

We started running and as we approached the sunset hotel a few hundred feet away, I saw my nemesis in the Miami Heat shirt.  I muttered to Erwan, 'Ha!  What they don't know is that I have no problem beating up children!'  My excitement at seeing them again was no match for their overwhelming glee!

As we approached my little friend came to the forefront of the crowd of hooligans and proclaimed 'Oh you can run!  You're running!'


Then before we knew it we had about 7 little Kenyan boys running with us.  Erwan played right into their little game and loudly expressed, "Be careful!  We eat children which is why we are so fat!"


Those little rascals LOVED it!  Erwan engaged them - which is likely all they were after in the first place!

They shouted through laughter, "We don't believe you!  You don't eat children!"


So we invited them to come over on Saturday so we could show them that we would eat them for breakfast!!!

Eventually they dropped off and we continued our run...despite how fat we are!

What that little monster doesn't know is that at mile 23 during the Disney marathon, when I need motivation I will hear his little voice yelling You can't run, You're Fat! and I'll show him!!!